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Why adult sex education is so important and what are the benefits of adult sex education and how can it improve your lovemaking and your sensual lives.
Transforming Sex, Intimacy and Relationships
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Lovemaking like any skill takes practice for example you want to learn how to cook or ski you take classes we need to take the same joy of learning new skills into the bedroom so that you become better at giving and receiving pleasure.
For us human beings, sex is not just about reproduction. It provides an important bonding function that holds couples together and makes the family unit stronger. However, we should qualify that we are talking about good sex here. bad sex has the opposite effect.
What is good sex anyway?
First of all it can be a wonderful experience that not only includes the genitals but spreads all over you into your heart, your emotions and your spirit. It gives you access to other planes of existence and connects you with the whole world and beyond. It takes you from your compact everyday self into your expanded self and the experiences can just keep getting deeper and a far more satisfying.
Clearly, good sex is important for a lot of reasons. Besides solidifying the relationship, it also makes for a more fulfilling and satisfying life overall. And yet, with something this important, many assume it is so natural that they can just do it without learning much about it. Sadly, that is far from the case.
Even those who start out with a good sex life can benefit dramatically from continuing their adult sex education. We all tend to get into bad habits, including the way we make love. No matter how good, the same thing over and over will begin to lose its initial fun and excitement. Adult sex education provides a wealth of ideas for couples to try, helps them learn to be more sexually experimental and spontaneous, and ultimately brings them closer together because their sex lives together get better and better.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to start out with everything being really good. In fact, a large percentage of married people report a lot of dissatisfaction with their love lives.
Many of the problems couples encounter sexually are a result of inadequate sex education. These can include a lack of understanding of the sexual physiology of their partner, an inability to discuss sexual needs and other communication problems, a lack of awareness of what can go wrong and the potential sexual problems that they are unprepared to deal with, and a basic lack of sexual skills needed to satisfy their partner.
Many couples have not even learned the basics, and for them, adult sex education can be of critical importance to their relationship. For those that have mastered the basic skills, the good news is that there is always more to learn that can add to the excitement and pleasure of their sex lives together.
You may be wondering why I bothered to study sex to such as extent. Well firstly I did not receive very good sex education growing up consequently from my teen years on I made all the very unwise decisions that could have been made and because of this I set out on a journey to unravel and discover and heal what went wrong.
Then along the way it was either by luck or fate that I was first introduced to a community back in the eighties that followed the teachings of the Indian mystic Osho.
It was here that I was first introduced to tantra and I got to experience some amazing journeys that would expand my mind and take me to other realms that included my sexuality and my spirit. The problem was that I did not understand what was happening or how I got there and how to replicate my experience. So being a very curious and adventurous soul I began my quest to find out more and to explore the richness of this human experience which included my sexuality. I then started taking many courses, workshops and conferences which lead to eventually completing a masters degree in the study of human sexuality.
What I learnt along the way was that the skills and tools we have been given in understanding pleasure and lovemaking are totally inadequate. The analogy is that we were given very crude antiquated tools in order to play the most beautiful of instruments. The instrument I am talking about is the human body and the music that is played within our instrument is the flow of sexual energy. The antiquated tool kit I am referring too happens to be our attitudes, beliefs and the mindset that we have inherited from our cultural conidtionings as well as the short comings of the English language that is so inadequate in describing something that is way beyond language.
So over the years in my practice as a sex, relationship and intimacy coach I have tried and incorporated different ways of teaching and road tested different methods combining current western research in sexuality education and also including some of the more eastern arts such as tantric and taoist practices and I made a dramatic leap into the new form of teaching as integrative lovemaking and sexuality.
Integrative lovemaking is very different from what generally happens in most peoples bedrooms. What happens in most peoples bedroom is what I call contracted goal oriented sex. Where the main purpose it to perform and to reach the goal of orgasm and to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. The standard lovemaking takes between 3 to 5 minutes. In integrative lovemaking the goal is to have as much pleasure, connection and fun as possible and to bring together as many different aspects of the person as possible. In oder to create a greater sense of wholeness harmony and completeness.
As a sex and intmacy coach and pleasure activist I consider sex education as very important and I provide classes from the advanced to the basic in a safe, comfortable environment where sexuality information is presented in a supportive, playful and positive manner, where couples and individuals can continue to explore all of the possibilities available to them to enhance and deepen their lovemaking and sexual experiences together.
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