MY SEXUAL RECOVERY JOURNEY

I hope that you will find many exciting and expansive thoughts, inspirations and ideas in this blog that will delight and surprise you and that you will find a fun environment to explore pleasure, sensuality and sexuality that may easily evolve into a deeper practices of genuine love, intimacy and fulfilling relating. 

For myself from a very early age I do remember being connected with my pleasure and my sensuality and most of my childhood I had mostly happy recollections. Aside from the conflicting messages that being bought up catholic created within me, it wasn't until I reached early adulthood that I began getting very confused about sexuality and where real pleasure and love came from. I then spent a great deal of my adult life motivated by a strong desire to get sexual affection, approval and pleasure from the outside world. For the most part this usually consisted of falling madly in love or lust followed by the falling out of love and lust and all the usual emotional trauma, hurt and pain that accompanies a relationship break–up.

This lead to a repetitive pattern of co-dependance, addiction and self hatred. After my third relationship ended I then set out in the search for the reasons why this continued and this lead to in-depth exploration  of sexual healing and sexual liberation. My first discovery along the way is that it is not always an easy road to travel and can quite often feel like an uphill battle full of obstacles, detours and roadblocks and demanding nothing less than total dedication. Thankfully, there were many others just like me out there who wanted to know more and who have offered me their loving support and guidance along the way to which I am very grateful.

My mission of healing my sexuality eventually turned into an epic quest  leading me to all kinds of  “alternative” holistic studies in sexuality and in the area of Polyamory,Tantra and Taoism. It even lead me down the hallowed halls of academia pursuing post -graduate studies in human sexuality and eventually a masters degree. I would like to say that I found the answers there but I didn't. I found some missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle but only by combining and blending all that I have learnt do I feel that this has now given me a far more realistic and grounded perspective and that this is reflected in the sessions, courses and workshops that I now offer.

I do find sex fascinating and I feel that we are just at the beginning, I believe of a incredible explosion of exciting new theory and research about human sexuality, particularly in area of women’s sexuality.The new ideas and important challenges that we are still facing even in these “progressive times” is our ability to transform our understanding and experiences of what is authentic sexuality.While much work has been done in the last few decades, there is still surprisingly much suffering in the world around these issues.

Personally, I have often felt great sadness and frustration that for many- perhaps most – people, sexual experience falls far short of what they had hoped for and what they believe others may be experiencing. There is so little honest conversation about sex that most people really have no idea what is going on in the lives of others.

The spiritual meaning and purpose of sexuality are even more difficult topics to discuss because our culture has many false beliefs about them. Discussion brings these false beliefs to the surface, triggering inner struggles, which need to be examined and surrendered if we are to progress. But the challenges that this process involves are many and the gifts are also many as in the deeper understanding these gifts it brings a greater awareness of our wholeness and the divinity our true nature.

Learning to love the many unique expressions of your sexual self, allows you to get closer to experiencing the erotic and ecstatic nature of the universe.

You do not need to do anything, just remain sitting at your table and listen.Do not even listen, just wait. Do not even wait, just be quiet, still and solitary, and the universe will expose itself to you.It has no choice.It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.   --- Franz Kafka